One of the biggest reasons many people suffer from low self-confidence is that they’re unhappy with a physical feature – or indeed all of their physical features. If this describes you, then you should be pleased to know that there is a lot you can do about your physical features, and while you may never be Brad Pitt there’s still a fair chance you’re not maximizing your potential. Here’s how to play the hand you’re dealt and get yourself looking like a million dollars.
First, appearance needn’t necessarily mean your face, and for many men in particular low confidence can stem from not being as tall as they’d like to be. Even if this isn’t a particular source of contention for you, adding a bit of extra height will automatically help you to feel more confident as you look down on people, or at least look at them at eye level, rather than constantly looking up. But it’s impossible to make yourself grow taller right? Well yes and no. Basically, rather than actually growing taller yourself, you can make yourself appear taller by investing in insoles that increase your height. If you type into e-bay ‘tall insoles’ you’ll find several products along the lines of what you’re looking for. These only cost a little and can be easily slipped inside your shoe… then adjusted to be taller or shorter (up to around four inches). Four inches of extra height if the shoes you’re wearing allows it take you from a shortish five nine to a fairly tall six foot one. If you combine this with fairly large shoes you can be really rather tall. For women the same can be true of high heels, and as an added bonus these also make women stand up taller and improve their gait and stride – you can’t shuffle in heels.
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I know a lot of people who have almost non-existent self esteem, which I find both upsetting and difficult to understand. Personally I’m almost narcissistic in my generous helpings of self-love, but while this isn’t particularly healthy either it’s certainly better than wallowing in self-loathing. The thing is as well that these guys have so much going for them that it defies all logic. One of them is fancied by all my female friends, has got an amazing job working with celebrities and oozes charisma. A lot of people would swap their lives and bodies for his and yet he tells me all the time that he doesn’t see himself as at all successful and doesn’t ‘like’ himself.
I’m not among those people who would swap lives, however…as I’m perfectly happy with mine. That doesn’t mean I don’t admire features in him, but I realise that other people probably admire features in me. I, like them, have been given all the tools I need to be able to become whatever I want to be. So rather than wishing I was more like someone, my time would be much better spent actually working towards becoming more like them in that area. I can pick the best assets of every person I admire and mimic them, and once you’ve learned those skills you’ll appreciate them far more. Want to be fitter? Get a gym membership. Want to be more charismatic? Spend more time with other people and develop your posture and conversational style.
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A self fulfilling prophecy describes a phenomenon by which what you believe to be true can actually become a reality by the fact that you actually believe it or that other people believe it. If this sounds complicated then imagine an example. Say you’re a boy at school who has an older brother who recently had the same teachers and proved very successful. By this fact alone, the other teachers and pupils will assume that this new boy will achieve great grades too. This confidence and expectation will in turn rub off on him and he’ll start to see himself as someone who has great academic ability. As you’re probably aware, you tend to like things that you do well in and so by thinking you’re good at academia you will then start to enjoy it more, and put in more time as a result. This is why sports psychologists use the ‘sandwich’ technique when giving criticism; that’s positive, negative, positive. This way they can get across their advice without damaging the esteem of the sprinter or gymnast. Therefore you need to try and constantly increase your own self esteem and closely control how you perceive yourself in order to increase your success.
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